The ability to set relationship boundaries is a necessary life skill in any relationships. However, relationship boundaries are a limit or a behavioral line which is established for the protection and should not be violated or crossed. As a result, how you allow others to interact with you is governed by the personal boundaries you have defined or established in your life. The way you enforce these relationship boundaries is the primary way you protect yourself emotionally.
Rules for setting relationship boundaries:
1. The relationship boundaries are set at the time when you have communication.
If the partner ignores you, he can’t put a boundary – he is out of communication. As a result, it is impossible to set the border during a scandal or a showdown. The adequacy of the perception of the situation is clouded by anger and mutual resentment.
2. A border protects your territory.
In addition, you can’t establish orders in someone else’s territory or advise how the other person should act.
3. Only one boundary is set at a time.
You can’t throw frogs on a person’s tub and wait for compliance with the agreements. However, this may seem unimportant but it is indeed very crucial.
4. The Relationship Boundaries Are Set for a specific action or words.
You can not demand from a partner “more love, care, attention, and respect.” Determine for yourself what exactly you want the person to stop doing to you.
5. When setting relationship boundaries, do not bid.
Unwanted action against you should be terminated, regardless of whether you do something for it or not.
Laws Of Healthy Relationship Boundaries.
1. All actions have consequences.
If someone in your life has shown violence, cruelty, selfishness towards you, have you set boundaries? Or does all this happen again and again without consequences for them? It is indeed very critical to always mind the way you react.
2. Power has boundaries.
We have power over some things, but we cannot change other people. As a result, it is only in our power to change our own life.
4. The law of respect.
However, we must respect other people boundaries too.
5. Freedom of choice.
We must be free to say no or say yes with a pure heart. As such, you can’t love a person only because you feel sorry for him and he leaves you no other choice.
7. The law of proactivity.
We are taking active steps to solve problems based on our values and desires. As a result, proactive people defend their freedom and disagree, but without raising an emotional storm.
8. The law of envy.
We will never get what we desire if we set our relationship boundaries based on what others have. An envious person does not see his borders based on the choices that he has.
9. The law of activity.
One must not expect from others that they will make the first movement.
In conclusion, the ability to set relationship boundaries correctly, without infringing on or devaluing one’s personality and at the same time not hurting others, is a whole art. Like any other skill, it requires first of all practice and a little theory. Developing and training in yourself the qualities indicated above, realizing your experience in relationships with other people, will help improve in setting relationship boundaries and get what you want.